The Mental Benefits of Doing Hard Things

Why deliberate difficulty changes people

I did my first Tuscobia Winter Ultra in 2014. This email is scheduled to go out at the start of my fifth Tuscobia Winter Ultra on January 3rd, 2026. I am in much better shape now than I was in 2014, as evidenced by how I feel and by the data I can now track. But that first race was easily the hardest thing I had ever done, mentally and physically. It's probably still the most challenging mental task I've undertaken in the physical realm. The weather conditions, my lack of fitness, and the absence of any rescue or escape option created the perfect storm.

Here's what's changed: given the same situation today, those same conditions wouldn't have nearly the impact on me that they did in 2014.

Many people ask why anyone does these extreme things. I didn't understand it either until I slowly started dipping my toe into the water. These things change you. But not in the way most people think.

They don't make you tougher through some vague sense of "building character." The change is more specific, more measurable, and more useful than that.

So why do it again? I know I am more fit. Physically, I am a decade stronger, and my legs are ready for this challenge. However, I am never really sure how my mental state is. I think I am good. But I do not know. I want to know. Even in “easy years” when the course is fast, this race is a mental challenge for most. I know what that challenge feels like, and the need to overcome the self-talk is a victory I seem to need.

Doing hard things does not primarily improve motivation or mood. It rebuilds psychological capacity.

Modern life reduces physical challenge while increasing cognitive and emotional stress. This mismatch leaves many people feeling fragile, anxious, and uncertain of their own limits. Deliberate, voluntary difficulty corrects that imbalance.

1. Stress Inoculation: Training the Nervous System

When you voluntarily enter a difficult physical or mental task, your body experiences:

• Elevated heart rate

• Increased cortisol and adrenaline

• Perceived threat without real danger

This is the same physiological response triggered by work stress, social pressure, or uncertainty, but with one critical difference: control.

Repeated exposure to controllable stress leads to:

• Lower stress reactivity in daily life

• Faster emotional recovery

• Improved decision-making under pressure

• Reduced avoidance behavior

This process is known as stress inoculation. The nervous system learns that stress is survivable and temporary.

2. Earned Confidence, Not Fragile Confidence

There is a clear distinction between two types of confidence:

Fragile confidence:

• Built through praise, reassurance, or external validation

• Collapses under pressure

• Requires constant reinforcement

Earned confidence:

• Built through lived experience

• Stable under stress

• Does not require affirmation

Hard things produce earned confidence because they provide evidence, not encouragement.

The internal narrative shifts from:
"I hope I can handle this."
to
"I have handled worse."

This form of confidence generalizes across domains: work, leadership, relationships, and health.

3. Reduction in Anxiety Through Increased Capacity

Anxiety often stems from a perceived gap between:

• What life demands

• What you believe you can tolerate

Hard experiences narrow that gap.

Physiologically, challenging effort:

• Increases Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (supports neuroplasticity)

• Improves dopamine signaling

• Reduces systemic inflammation

Psychologically, it:

• Restores a sense of agency

• Reduces rumination

• Improves self-efficacy

Importantly, doing hard things does not eliminate anxiety through avoidance. It reduces anxiety by increasing capability.

4. Expansion of Perceived Limits

Most people operate far below their actual capacity, constrained by outdated internal limits.

Completing a genuinely difficult task recalibrates those limits.

Common post-challenge effects include:

• Greater willingness to attempt difficult tasks

• Reduced catastrophizing

• Improved follow-through on long-term goals

This is not positive thinking. It is knowing you can.

5. Identity Reinforcement Under Pressure

Identity is shaped most powerfully under load.

When you complete something you doubted you could do, your identity shifts from:
"I try when it's comfortable."
to
"I show up when it's hard."

This identity change:

• Reduces dependence on motivation

• Improves consistency

• Increases tolerance for discomfort

• Enhances long-term resilience

Occasional hard tasks outperform constant easy habits in identity formation.

6. Why Intensity Matters More Than Frequency

Mental adaptation does not scale linearly with effort.

• Repeated low-difficulty tasks produce minimal psychological change

• Short, intense challenges create lasting impact

What matters is:

• Clear difficulty

• Emotional salience

• Completion

This is why events like endurance races, demanding projects, or structured challenges often mark turning points in people's lives.

7. The Calm That Follows Difficulty

A common outcome of doing hard things is not hype, but calm.

People often report:

• Lower baseline anxiety

• Less need to prove themselves

• Greater patience

• Increased emotional steadiness

This is nervous system competence, not bravado.

Practical Examples

• A challenging endurance event

• A difficult strength goal

• Cold exposure with clear limits

• Completing a demanding professional project

• Publicly committing to and completing a difficult task

Misogi-style challenges are one example of a broader principle: deliberate difficulty builds mental capacity.

Bottom Line

Doing hard things:

• Trains the nervous system to tolerate stress

• Builds durable, earned confidence

• Reduces anxiety by increasing perceived capacity

• Produces identity-level change

• Creates calm, not chaos

This is not about suffering. It is about restoring competence in a world that increasingly strips it away.

What's Hard Is Personal

The most interesting thing about doing hard things is that it's different for everyone. What challenges one person might be a normal day for another.

There are two takeaways here:

Never minimize what is hard for someone else. Their nervous system is recalibrating based on their limits, not yours.

Always push yourself toward things you see as hard. That's where your growth lives.

My Dad had a saying above his desk in his office that I always looked at when I visited him: "We are not here to test the waters. We are here to make waves."

I didn't really understand it for a long time. Now, at 50 years old, I know what it means. It's not about recklessness or bravado. It's about deliberately choosing difficulty over comfort, not to suffer, but to expand what you're capable of.

The calm, the confidence, the resilience, none of it comes from waiting until you feel ready. It comes from doing the thing anyway.

What challenges are you planning for 2026?

See you in the gym.